Developing self-confidence in children is crucial for their overall development and future success.
Ultimately, developing self-confidence in children sets them up for a fulfilling and successful life by equipping them with the necessary skills and mindset to navigate challenges, pursue their dreams and thrive in various aspects of life.
While understanding this is all well and good, actually fostering it in children is not always as easy or as simple as it sounds. However, I have compiled five simple ways to accomplish this.
Just by making time to actively listening to children’s ideas and feelings with interest validates their experiences and encourages them to freely express themselves without fear of judgment and helps build trust and a sense of safety. Providing a non-critical and non-judgmental atmosphere allows children to explore their thoughts, emotions and ideas without hesitation.
Suggestion:
Giving children time to reflect at the end of a day and talk through all that happened, all they felt and all their ideas with a trusted adult without directing or controlling their stream of consciousness. Alternatively, you could encourage them to write it down in a journal if they are unsure or lacking confidence in sharing their ideas aloud initially.
Recognising this need, I have created the ‘Make Yourself Proud’ Journal for children which is designed for exactly this purpose.
Exposing children to a variety of activities provides them with a wealth of experience so they can then choose what resonates with them the most. When children participate in activities that they enjoy and excel at, they experience a sense of accomplishment and mastery, which in turn enhances their self-esteem. It is important to provide support and resources to help them develop their skills further, however you are able. By encouraging children to pursue their interests and strengths, we empower them to develop a strong sense of self and confidence in their abilities, setting them on a path towards personal fulfilment and success.
When children receive recognition and positive reinforcement for their efforts, it validates their hard work and encourages them to continue striving for success. By acknowledging their accomplishments, even in small tasks or kindnesses, we communicate that their efforts are valued and appreciated. This helps children develop a sense of pride in their actions and boosts their self-esteem. Moreover, consistent praise for their efforts cultivates a growth mindset, where they understand that progress and improvement come from effort and perseverance. This mindset encourages them to embrace challenges and view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than failures and a reason to give up.
Suggestion:
Stickers are one of the easiest things to support with praise recognition. Not just simple stickers but ones that are special to them – linked an interest area, shiny or smelly ones. I have found that the latter are the most effective as they engage their senses in the praise process.
I regularly use these stickers (which smell of bubblegum!) and rather than telling them what I’m proud of (depending on their age of course!), I encourage them to identify what they are proud of in our session – whether these are around effort, perseverance and intangible aspects of their learning or specific achievements, however small. As opposed to external validation, this further embeds the positive reinforcement and sense of pride in a moment or actions that they have recognised. At home this could be something reflected upon at the beginning/end of day or done throughout the day – it will depend on how often you feel your child needs to recognise these to support their self-confidence and self-esteem.
Some children find identifying things they are proud of incredibly hard to begin with, which is perfectly understandable as the mindset is new to them and they may have always relied on adults for validation of their actions and choices. Modelling these with them initially helps them to develop this mindset so allow them time to recognise these themselves.
If you’re interested, the stickers I use are linked here.
When given the freedom, children have the biggest and wildest dreams and ideas so when it comes to setting goals, they can be equally huge and hard to achieve. It’s important to guide children in setting goals that are attainable so they feel regular, small successes, perhaps even daily for some children. By breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, children can experience a sense of progress and achievement along the way. As this can be a new concept to them, they may initially need some support to be able to set goals that challenge them but are within their reach. This will be a trial and error process that you can walk them through, discussing and adjusting as you go along.
Suggestion:
Ladders can be a great visual metaphor for children to understand and see their goal and then create the smaller steps to get there - breaking down their large, exciting dreams into small steps and goals that they feel success as they achieve each rung of the ladder. This process of setting realistic goals and celebrating accomplishments creates a positive cycle of self-assurance, as children learn to trust in their abilities and feel motivated to take on new challenges with confidence.
Encouraging a growth mindset, where mistakes are seen as valuable learning experiences, allows children to approach challenges with a sense of curiosity and determination rather than a fear of failure. This mindset shift empowers them to persevere through obstacles, learn from their mistakes and ultimately achieve their goals.
Suggestion:
Many of us may have grown up in an environment where we were told we were ‘stupid’ ‘clumsy’ ‘dumb’ (insert what you heard as a child here) when we made a mistake as a child. While we may not feel that this has impacted us, it is ingrained in us so then when we make a mistake as an adult, we instinctively name-call ourselves, usually out loud but sometimes in our actions afterwards. Children subconsciously model themselves on the adults around them – it’s human nature. So modelling patience and understanding of yourself when you (or any around you) make a mistake (because we all make them!) will help reinforce the growth mindset message in the children around you.
The hope is that If we can implement some of these strategies, even partially, we can help children develop a strong foundation of self-confidence that will benefit them throughout their lives.
